Auntie Moon

Usually when we think of Libra, we think of love. We do that because it’s the sign associated with the House of Marriage and romantic relationships. Libra isn’t just about marriage and romance, though. It’s about all our major relationships.  And in some of those relationships, love is not a requirement.

Which relationships don’t require love? The answers might surprise you.

There’s a scene in Monster’s Ball where Hank (Billy Bob Thornton) is admitting his father, Buck, to a nursing home. Hank and his father live together, and Buck is the cause of a failing relationship between Hank and his new lover (Halle Berry). The administrator of the nursing home ~ assuming that Hank is admitting his father because he cares for him ~ says, “You must love him very much.” Hank replies, “No, I don’t. But he’s my father. So there it is.” We can responsibly fulfill the duties of a relationship without loving the person, but we will rarely go the distance that we would for those we do love.

I hate all my friends.
~ Anonymous

That quote was made by someone who was tremendously frustrated with her life in general and by most of the major relationships in her life. There was too much duty and not a bit of lushness to those relationships that had once thrived.

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth.

Love does make a difference, doesn’t it? In all our relationships ~ our life partners, our families, friends, and business partners ~ it makes a difference. Even our work and our talents are objects of affection that require a loving hand. When you love something, you tend it carefully. If you are loved, you are tended.

Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.

It can be really hard sometimes to remain loving, even with those we hold dearest. Once the honeymoon wears off, most of make the mistake of getting too caught up in duty, completing our chores, working, or finding time at the end of an exhausting too-full week for that brief magical moment that reminds us that love is still part of the potion. We can fulfill the duties of any relationship without invoking love, but there’s a marked difference when love and tending is there.

Love can be explained in a gazillion different ways, and I think we’re lucky if we come to know it even once in our lives. The longing never really goes away, does it?

What are the guideposts? How can we tell what love really is, what it’s capable of doing, and if we are behaving in a loving way? The best explanation I’ve found is from 1st Corinthians:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

You really shouldn’t say, “I love you” unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.

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The quotes in blue are a few answers to the question, “What does love mean?” that was asked of a group of 4-8 year olds. You can read all the responses here.