Aquarius ~ The Friend of the Zodiac

Remember, George: no man is a failure who has friends. ~ It’s a Wonderful Life

friendship_love_and_truth Aquarius has earned the reputation of being the friend of the zodiac because of its concern for humanity in general, even though it might be a tough nut to crack when it gets right down to being your good close friend. Sometimes that don’t get too-close, let’s keep it cerebral attitude (otherwise known as detachment) can keep Aquarius from warming up. There’s a lot at stake in warming up ~ you have to invite vulnerability and closeness into your life.

Aquarius is the natural ruler of the 11th house. It’s our House of Friends and the sign on its cusp will give you a pretty good idea of what you expect from your friendships and what you’re willing to give in return. I have Sag there so I need a lot of freedom in the activities I plan with my friends, and I give that to my friends, too. Something better comes along that you’d rather do, I’m cool with that. I don’t want to make you do anything, you know? I don’t want to have to do something, either. It has to be done freely or it feels like a chore. (My Sun in the 6th House of Work has enough chores already, if you know what I mean.)

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born. ~ Anais Nin

Have you ever done a synastry chart for your best friend and yourself? Run them at They’re very telling.

My best friend is an Aquarian and I’m Cancer. That’s not supposed to work very well. Aquarius and Cancer are inconjunct signs which mean that they aren’t supposed to jibe all that well. The elements are at odds. The modes are at odds. Fixed Air meets Cardinal Water. A piece of advice: throw out your astro cookbooks and whip up your own recipes. Aquarius and Cancer can work well together. All the signs can. It’s about planetary integration.

  • She’s an Aquarian with Moon in Cancer. I’m Cancer with Sun conjunct Uranus and Aquarius Rising.
  • We both have 6th House Suns.
  • Her Saturn conjuncts my Mars ~ she calms me when I’m in a dither and shows me the way toward reason. My Saturn trines her Cancer Moon giving credence to her feelings when waves of emotion overwhelm.
  • Her Chiron and N. Node live in my 12th House ~ she knows how to heal my soul.
  • Her Sun/Venus conjuncts my N. Node in Aquarius in the first ~ she’s a guiding star encouraging me to be me.
  • Together we have a grand trine made up of Mercury, Uranus, and Mars/Saturn. We can always talk about the tough and nutty parts of life and understand one another.

We “get” each other, you know? She is, without question, a soul mate. Not my family, not my good-time buddy, but my dear, true friend who always points me toward the path of growth.

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. ~ Walter Winchell

A good friend is someone who, when you call them up in the middle of the night and tell them you’ve just killed someone, shows up in a hurry with a shovel. ~ Unknown

Who shows up for you when things are at their worst, the times when they have the least amount to gain? It’s not always who we  expect it to be. They don’t tell you what to do. If you ask for their advice, they’ll still love you if you don’t take it.

There’s another type of “friend,” the kind we feel sorry for. This is often the type of friendship where you’re always giving and they’re always taking. I hate to say this, but they’re not your friends. My experience with these folks is that when the going gets tough, they get going. They’re like vampires, so don’t invite them into your house. They’ll come in, suck you dry and then when you are in need, they disappear like shadows the midday sun. They don’t show up for you because they were never really there.

How do you see the sign on your 11th house reflected in your friendships?

8 thoughts on “Aquarius ~ The Friend of the Zodiac

  1. Hi CJ,

    I love this article. Totally agree, Sun sign incompatibility is sometimes irrelevant as other combinations of planets between the charts of two friends show the reality of the relationship. I can see what you mean about the “friend” we feel sorry for, have had a few experiences with that one, and boy, disappointing to say the least. I suppose having Pisces ruling the 11th doesn’t help there. I have also got Aries and some Taurus in 11th, just as well, probably stops me from falling for more sob stories!. One of my closest friends, although living in another part of the country is a Gemini, I have moon in Gemini, I can see lots of other good planet combinations between the two charts also. I think the sun sign approach is very limiting too, and not always accurate. Enjoy the energy of the New Moon in Aquarius and remember to set some intentions in relation to the house in which it falls.
    Love, Light and Blessings,

    1. Thanks, Ruth. That’s a big house of friendship you’ve got there. I’m already enjoying our wonderful Aquarius Moon and I have set my intentions clearly, devoting one of those tiny spiral notebooks to it.

  2. LOL I just loved all the quotes! The ruler of my chart is in Aquarius and also my venus, so friends are really important to me, but happily we don’t get possessive of each other, even when the cusp of my 11th is in cancer and moon is conj pluto. Usually my closest friends are virgo (around the first week of sept…I have 4 good friends all born on the 6th) their suns fall in my 12th, and we can just count on each other. My late dearest friend’s sun was conj the 12th cusp and she passed away while sat was transiting my 11th. Also noticed 3 good, long time friends are born on nov 17th. A gemini close friend has pisces moon conj my sun and my saturn conj her sun/venus, we get each other and talk from silly to serious easily!. Sadly, at this point we all live far from each other, different states and countries, still manage to stay in touch. But I miss them deeply.
    Some of us also have 6th house suns!

    1. That’s interesting about the shared dates, isn’t it? September 22nd has always been that “magic” date for me. Like you, so many of my best friends are far away. Thank goodness for high tech communications!

  3. Aw, boy, what you said about friends you feel sorry for hits home. I have lots of wonderful friends, but then there are the ones who say, “You’re my only friend.” Those are the ones to watch out for!! With Mars stationary in Virgo just now squaree my Mercury in the 11th, I find myself brooding about them in the middle of the night, totally impatient with their major complaints that never get any better. Donna

    1. Those are usually the ones who can’t be a friend. They’ve used up the other ones. Getting under our skin and in our heads is one of their strengths.

  4. So nice to find you in the cyber space Donna! Miss you dearly and hope you are feeling well and healing steadily.
    Wish you both a Great year of the Dragon and loving, healthy friendships!

    p.s Mars is squaring my Sat and quincunx (ing?) my mercury so I’ve being also chewing some ‘unresolvable’ things. Thankfully virgo energy helps to pull out the weeds!

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